y did u give ur computer a hand job?
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
