he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
