and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
