How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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