Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
