Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
