You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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