I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
the liver wants what the liver wants
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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