she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
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