I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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