Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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