captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
