I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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