He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You are the jesus of drinking
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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