I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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