I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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