I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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