Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
