we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
