I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
