There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
well, you know. whores of a feather.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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