Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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