Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
