Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
