I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
