I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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