whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
