weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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