I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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