I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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