I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
