I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
