Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
