I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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