I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
