If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
