Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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