When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
