Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
