Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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