Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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