Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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