i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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