i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
