Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
How does one acquire holy water?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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