His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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