My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
