Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
