can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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