She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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