Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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