I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I wear drunk well.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
