You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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