If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
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So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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