I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You're like the curious george of whores
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
