you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
They have beer where we have blood.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
