Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
