We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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