Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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