WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize