Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
